how i wish i never had the fears that i have...it just prevents me from doing things that i really want to do :(

if i do not even understand, how can i expect others to understand? :(

if only there was a way......if only i knew what to do......if only that thing didn't happen years back... :(

Okay...just came back from Risen Christ Confirmation camp yesterday, 15th Nov! I'm kind of missing the camp. But not the beds and the toilets... :(

sooo, it was a 3 days 2 nights camp. i met amanda lim at toa payoh library main entrance at 7.30 and went to eat macs with her. shared hotcakes but no drink no hashbrown. finished eating at 8 and walked over to church. there were only the facils and camp coordinators there plus 2 other people. so, just sat there and rot. then came cheryl tang and yeah, other people from my class and other classes. So, i think we started registration at around 8.45 i guess? Was told that my group number is 6 and group name St. Juan Diego. So, i started being kia su and kinda kay po and went up the list to see who's in my group. I only saw Benjamin.

So, got my camp shirt. Oh oh! the camp theme was "Quo Vadis" meaning, "where are you going?" kay...so, went in to the church hall to assemble in our groups. And, i found out that Amanda Lim (from my cathecism class) was in my group too! haha...met my group members, Cassandra, Amla, Natalie Poh, Casimir, Dwayne, Benjamin, Amanda and yeah! me! :D okay. my facils were Stephanie and Eric. and Stef is damn cute! hahahaha....

okay....er, play some icebreaker games...one of them was the all of you must stand on the newspaper then they will fold and fold that game and other one was they gave each group an ice cube. so, if you're holding the ice cube, you got to say one thing about yourself. and the ice must be passed around until it melts. so, yeah. i kinda ran out of things to say. started with i'm from st nicks, i love music, i have an elder brother.................then after that we went up the bus and left for sembawang!

when we reached there, there were some primary school kids doing the high elements and some other weird people. then went into the session hall and er, was given 2 chapters in the bible to read and act out. but, we were supposed to change it abit. like, er, example, what if Moses forgot to bring his stick, how are they going to cross the river? yeah...mine was er, Genesis chapter 40 and 41...so, yeap...read it and came out with the skit. lunch was at 12+..not very sure of the time. then had praise and worship and session 1 after that where a speaker came. group sharing, then, games. it was a game where you had to pull the donkey's tail out from someone of the same gender. haha..and my group won! we collected the most number of donkey tails! :D

then had session 2 and group sharing. after that was bathing time! :) okay...er, the toilets are okay generally. then had dinner. after that was the presentation of all the skits. haha. kind of funny. then we had night maze. oh goodness me...it was so freaking dark! it's like, cannot even see anything at all? and, the worse was that it was under the "bunk" (don't know what that was). the "bunk" was like on stilts and below is like just one empty space? and it was so freaking low we were apparently bending down. they gave us helmets to wear cause we WILL definitely hit our head on the thing. i lost loads of brain cells thanks to that. okay, got lost in the maze so went back into the entrance and the person showed us the right path. then we had to get out on our own already. Went in with Amanda, Dwayne and Ben. then after all the groups had finished the maze, we had reflection and worship. Slept at 12+ i guess.

woke up at 7.15 the next morning. don't know why but when i woke up, it was bright already. i didn't have a watch so i decided to wait until people woke up then asked for the time. Slept beside christabel and Auriel on the upper deck of the bed. The mattresses were disgusting! they were damn old and some of them had bed bugs! lucky mine didn't! :) erm, laid the sleeping bag on it and slept lah. was damn cold even though it was just fan...i was practically sleeping on the metal bar of the bed for both nights cause the mattress was er, old and, yeah. in very bad condition?

then had breakfast, mass dance (High School Musical's All for one dance), praise and worship,session 3, group sharing, then bible quiz. The bible quiz was like, they ask qns and you have to flip through the bible to find the answer? so means, your bible reading must actually be damn good. they didn't tell you where it is. It was really base on knowledge/ luck to flip the bible and find lah. so, apparently, couldn't do like 3 qns out of 6. it was a group thing so yeah. then had lunch, reflection and worship, session 4, group sharing then games. The games were like.....okay...the first game we went to was one which you had to do the chicken dance 3 times, turn around 5 times and use your mouth to find the mentos hidden in a basin of flour! wth, i couldn't find it at all even though there were so many. then my facil was trying to help me find but she couldn't find also. the worse thing was that, before the game, my eye was damn itchy and red and after that, my eye was kind of pain. abit lah. then went to the toilet to clean up and spit out whatever flour was in my mouth. next game was they gave each member baby shampoo and you're supposed to wash your hair and squeeze whatever foam you have into a bucket. my group was disqualified cause someone went to pour the whole bottle of shampoo on the hair. (abit only lah)

then, after that game, went to wash our hair. smelled damn nice! haha :D next game was er, oh. each member take 2 stones and try to hit a can down. if one member can't hit it down with both tries then, every one in the group has to put some vegetable oil thing on the face. green colour one. so, my whole group couldn't do it so had to put 8 times. but for girls, they put 1 dot. for guys is like, one line? HAHA..but then, my group-mate, Ben helped us. He put the thing on his whole face so that we all didn't need to put. YAY! thanks man! :D then the next game was er, oh, human bowling. basically you lye down on the mat and roll and knock down the bottles. i didn't play that game cause i will get rashes. there was like, water, dirty water, like abit muddy muddy? so yeah. only 6 people needed to play so both me and amanda stayed out of it. rashes. then went to play captains ball.

after that was shower and something happened...i went into the toilet to bathe. choosed the 4th cubicle which had the drainage thing. the trap door on the floor in toilets? yeah. so happened that it was broken. okay, so i was about to put conditioner when i heard something. like something dropped like that. i looked down to the floor and guess what. i saw this stupid frog over there. it jumped out of that stupid thing and started hopping okay? i was screaming like mad lah. want to know how loud i screamed? the boys toilet was behind the girls toilet. apparently, i asked my friend "did you hear anyone screaming when you were bathing?" he said yeah. goodness me...so, i took my towel and wrapped and opened the door. facil told me to do that. then the boys side the facil came over cause he heard me screaming. then he was like, what happen? got frog. then the frog hopped out and i slammed the door. then he was so scared that we would come out or something so he said, "don't come out ah? you all don't come out of the toilet ah!" then he shoo-ed the frog away. stupid frog! it was big lah! freaked me out.....

okay, it's interesting to be me...these kind of things always happen to me... :( the after that had dinner, session 5, confession, and something called shalom. for confession, we just had it and there were around 3 priests. after my confession, i wanted to cry but didn't. felt damn light after father prayed over me. then went back to the bunk and realised that my parents wrote me a letter. erm, everyone's parents did. so, my facil passed mine to me and once i got it, i started crying. i was actually trying my best not to cry but, that was it lah. just flowed down. then read already, wrote a reply to them and had reflection after that.

For shalom, we all had to be in pairs and i paired with nat. stood in two circles. one person on the inner circle, the other, outer. so i stood in the inner circle. then it started. "shalom my good friend (bow), shalom my good friend (bow), shaloooom (grab the person's right hand with yours), shaloooom (grab the person's left hand with yours), God's peace be with you (pull each other towards each other), God's peace be with you (pull again to the other side), shalom (bow), shalom (bow)" yeah. so, went to every person and did that. the inner circle had to move one person to the right every time you finished this. then went to sleep...around 12+?

next day woke up at 6.45 naturally again...breakfast and photo-taking. wrote autographs for group members and then went to some place. everyone's parents came and yeah. so did mine. had lunch, then we went to pack our bags while they had talk. then had mass at 2 ended at 3+. then i went back, bathed and went out for dinner at Shangri-la for my mum's birthday which is like today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! AND BECKY! :D

came home at er, 9+, showered and came online and chatted with people. slept at errrrrrrrr, 11.30 like that. :D

aish...So sad...Seniors pass out already...now left alone with the juniors during combine! :(((( So sad!!!! Anyway, we had our POP on friday, 29/5/09...Very last day for seniors in band...anyway, POP = Passing Out Parade...then they handed over their posts to the juniors, sec 3s...Anyway, top 4 is grace leung, joan, zhang di and ning xuan...then yeah...i got section leader and quater mistress...

then our section went to crystal jade toa payoh to eat dinner! nat, mag, tiffany, sandy, me, grace, alicia...we cabbed there...4, 3...yeah...we ate steam boat...Was quite nice! but i didn't know there was steamboat there...LOL...aish...then mag was so hungry and the people took so long to serve us that she was practically scolding them...i think they got quite scared that we would complain so it was like, all of a sudden they served us them fast...HAHA...was damn funny! then my parents came to fetch us go to chalet at pasir ris costa sands resorts...

alicia didn't go, sandy didn't go...so left with 5...just nice...can fit my car... :) then reached there at around 11+ and my dad checked in for us...we slept at around 2+ and woke up at 7+, 8+...then went to BK to eat breakfast...

then kai yi came...and alicia came at 12+...but me and nat cabbed back to school cause nat left her medicine in the band room and it was damn important so yeah...went back with her to take it...then at first there wasn't any cleaners in school to open the band room door for us but i saw this person who works in our school and he "knows" me...cause he stays near my grandma's house and i saw him under her block loads of times...yup! he helped us to open the door...SO NICE! then stayed for awhile for nat to do her stuff and left...took a bus and train...

and on the way back, some things happened at the chalet there...shall not say what but yeah...then when we got back, me and nat went to watch night at the museum 2 and the juniors went to roam around...mag and tiffany went to buy BBQ things...yeah...the cinema was freaking cold! i was practically freezing...then went back to chalet to BBQ...started at 6? ended at 8+/9+...yeah...then tiffany's friend came at around 9+ when we were watching Boys Over Flowers...then i slept earlier than them cause i was damn tired...next day woke up at around, 8+?

i was the last one to wake up...haha...some pig... xD then went to macs to eat...at pasir ris MRT there...haha...

Yay! i'm back to blog! Haha...Jubilate yesterday! haha...saw lots of people from pri side...and received flowers! i like the blue one denise lee gave me! :) anyway, took common test (SS) yesterday morning then straight away rushed down to band room...aish...then, took the bus to Republic poly...and the bus driver was so horrible! wonder how he could even pass his driving test lah...and he went round and round and round some place before we even got to RP can...LOL...anyway, we went there, had rehersal once, then went to eat lunch, rotted, rehersal again, then dinner, rotted then finally the concert...haish...pictures while rotting...

Haha...today went out to study with Nicole low and belle chai!!! Zhu zhuuu! :) we were actually supposed to go to esplanade library to study but in the end went to citylink's starbucks...haha...

we were meant to meet at 10.45 but belle came late...erm, she came at like, 11? yeah...then waited there for her... :) then went to suntec's popular to buy stuff! the popular there don't sell text books...so belle chai couldn't buy her history text book...i bought an orange file! and silly cow's prezzie! :D haha...nicole low bought, erm, pen and correction tape...Oh...the popular there don't have quite a lot of things that i need to buy... :( thus, i need to go some other pop to buy...

then left suntec at 11.45 and went to Citylink again...haha...so, studied at starbucks until, 2+ then went to eat sakae...i bought chocolate blended cream there...haha...shared curry katsu don with zhuzhu and odered some soft shell crab thingy...super nice! and i realised that each time i go out with them, i would always eat sakae...lol...

mmhmm...then went to marina square to walk after that and then we went home at 4.30! :D

Haha...went for an exchange program on monday...it was at TKGS...went there together with belle chai...she was late though...but was because of all the red lights... :D

yeah...practically had a few schools there when i expected it to be like only our school and TK and the Nakamura girls'...So it was, Cedar, TK, our school, CCHY, CCKS, hwa chong?, etc. yup...the jap girls were supposed to teach us but sadly, the jap bassoonist was sick and there was only 1 bassoonist in the whole band...So, we learnt nothing...

then we had combine...all the schools together play overture 1...hmm...the jap band performed for us! Super nice! They sang too! Yup...then after that took 135 with Belle, Ning Xuan and yu qing to parkway parade to eat lunch...that was like 1+...then later we all took 135 back...haha...we went one BIG round, was super funny! :D

then, just now went to my cousin's house for like an hour cause it was her birthday...so went for an hour then went to my brother's ex-classmate's house to eat dinner...I SAW THEIR SUPER DUPER CUTE AND FAT SHIH TZU! IT WAS SUPER DUPER CUTE! and not to mention SUPER FAT...haha...but, it was HUGE...not those normal ones i see on the road...anyway, cute can already...HAHA!

i practically sat there and stoned cause all the adults all talking to each other and the boys were playing cards...was the only girl there practically...left her house at 10.30, 11+...

Haha...decided to blog about europe now... :D ok...firstly, the food there, SUCKS! oh gosh...the food was either too salty or too bland...REALLY! either one...secondly, you must be thinking, add chilli, or sauce or whatever...uh-hum...there's NO CHILLI SAUCE THERE! :( but they do have ketchup which is weird to take with some food, and salt...LOADS OF IT! yucks... :P but their pizza there is SUPER DUPER NICE! not anything like singapore's... :D ok...it was very cold there but eventually, we all got used to it! the temperature was like, 0 to -2 degrees...and on the 2 mountains which we went to, Mount Jaufraunjoch (yau-frau-yock) and Mount Titilis, the tempt. was like, -16! cold especially with the wind...ok...

1st day, 4 Dec
Went to airport at like 10+ terminal 3, row 10...met our tour guide (stanley) there...checked in and went to walk around...went to departure hall at 12+ and the plane took off at 1+...took 12 and a half hours to reach rome!

2nd day, 5 Dec
So, the time in rome was like 7+am and the time in singapore was like, 12+am...7 hours apart! yeah...when we reached, went sight-seeing...first went to the vatican city and saw the church...woah...1st largest church in the WORLD...nice! haha...saw their guards there...their uniform is WEIRD...went to see their many bridges there, went across many of them...oh and, they have graffiti everywhere on the walls and gum on the floor everywhere...went to many different churches as well...oh and, their pigeons there are SUPER FAT AND SUPER CUTE! not like those in singapore...so skinny :O :D also went to see the remains of the colosseum...haha :D


3rd day, 6 Dec

Left Rome early in the morning to go to fluorence which WAS actually the capital city of europe but changed to rome...can't really remember anything about fluorence though...but i do remember walking ALOT! :D

4th day, 7 Dec
Left in the morning and headed for Pisa! oh and, mind you! the travelling was all by bus! Aish! ok...went to see the leaning tower! :D so nice! but there were so many bullll dogs there...gosh! i just hate them! eek! then walked around and went shopping...can't remember much too... :D


5th day, 8 Dec
Left early in the morning again, and headed for veneta, Venice...haha...was super nice! but super cold...took a boat there and my hands were numb cause too cold...brrr...we didn't sit on the gondolier though...cause we wanted to go shopping... :D ate a pizza there! yum yum! big one too! :D


6th day, 9 Dec
Left early in the morning AGAIN, and went to milan... :D haha...saw my mum's office there... :D then went shopping as well...can't remember anything too...just remembered going to a church and ferragamo...

7th day, 10 Dec
went to switzerland...early morning again...woah...had a headache on the bus cause the road was winding...then by the time reach there was like 6+, 7+...oh and, in europe, the sky gets dark at 5+, 6 and they close shop at 8...their 5 there is like singapore 7+...so dark...then went to eat cheese, chocolate and meat fondue... :D nice! the boss there was super funny! haha...but the cheese fondue tasted weird because of the wine they put in there...oh and, it was snowing!

8th day, 11 Dec
this time, we didn't have to wake up so early! we stayed in switzerland for 2 days! :D went to Mount Jaufraujoch in interlaken! it was super cold! i wore 5 layers! including jacket...so, actually it was, 2 thermals, 1 home t, 1 turtle neck and my jacket...for bottom i wore 3 layers...1 thermal, 1 winter stocking and my jeans...took a train ride up there...some people had headache cause not enough oxygen...i had headache on the way down...oh and, i sat the SLEDGE! so fun! haha! but, idiot! i went down the slope, the steeep slope, and, I HAD A HARD TIME CLIMBING BACK UP! IDIOT! it's really grr! hey! the snow was soft and knee-deep...once my leg went all the way in, my shoe almost came off in the snow when i pulled out my leg!

then when i climbed up, i would slide back down cause super slippery... :( HEY! AT LEAST I MADE IT 3/4 UP THE STEEP SLOPE! haha...then my dad pulled me up...was super tired! practically, after climbing up, my legs were numb and i had snow all over and it turned into ice? :S


9th day, 12 Dec
Went to Mount Titilis...not as fun as mount jaufraujoch and what's more, it stank up there...had some sewage smell...very bad... :P



10th day, 13 Dec
Left for Paris...by the time we reached was like, night time! we travelled for like 8 hours? to reach paris! then, went to hotel, check in...



11th day, 14 Dec

Ok...so, went to the eiffel tower...2nd floor...could see everything! the view was super nice! :D then went shopping...one of the memeber's in my group almost had her newly bought LV stolen! this small eyed woman came and was just about to take the bag and my mum said, "Janice! You BETTER LOOK AFTER YOUR THINGS!" then she turned away... lol! ok...then went for a boat cruise at night...went under 28 of the bridges there! out of 37!


12th day, 15 Dec
Left for the airport at 8+ and reached singapore at 7 in the morning the next day on the 16th? yeah...and i had headache on board the aircraft so, i slept, and slept...but i watched shows too! Beverly hills high Chihuahua! haha! Wall-E! eh! i don't go to the movies! cause no ones brings me... :( ok! pictures!

eiffel tower at night


on the 2nd level of the eiffel tower


in a church

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